The ESV translates James 1:2 as "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds."

I'm pretty sure he wasn't referring to making an itemized list, but that isn't such a bad idea! Paul instructed the Thessalonians to "be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances," so maybe joy seeking includes thanking God. I'm pretty used to listing all the bits of grace in which He showers me  on easy days, but how differently might I live this loss if I intentionally looked for Him in the tough ones as well?

Like...Thank you, God, for walking me through the 10 hours of food poisoning last night; You made it so I could only hold on to You..

Or...God, You held my hand as I stepped on the Memorial 131 bus to go clean out Rob's 37th floor office and then, provided a son, who was sent downtown on an errand, to rescue me and my load.

Or maybe...You knew that I had forgotten to ask about an important account, but You sent a reminder in the mail. 

Always present, always providing, always protecting...

Joy counting, maybe I'm on to something.