Plan-C
I mentioned in my last post that it was not my first or even second choice of how I wanted to live my life. 
It got me to thinking...Does God keep switching the plan? 
I think I almost immediately heard God chuckle, Oh dear daughter, there is only one plan, MY PLAN. Stop counting, get up, and join me as I unfold it.
Somewhere along the way, I decided this season of loss would result in a greater me, maybe even a new me and yes, a new improved purpose. POOF! One day I'd awake and realize that all this rotten pain culminates in some grand, glorious calling, an earth-shaking destiny. 
What if the real calling is long, faithful obedience to his one perfect plan? And what if this calling draws more attention to Him than me?
Beware! Me always wants the starring role.

Singer/songwriter, Babbie Mason, suggests "living to please God is the primary reason you were born." I would add the words of Isaiah 26:8 to this highest calling: "Yes, LORD, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desires of our hearts." Born to please and make God famous!
In both declarations, GOD/me. GOD over me. GOD is whole, I am fractional.
A long, pleasing obedience of making Him, not me, well known, while He reveals his plan to give me hope and a future...worth repeating.

Can the earth shake in the unfolding?
It sure can! 
A few months ago, I began serving in the newborn ministry at my church again. We no longer make home visits, so my role is less defined and visible.  I'm the prayer warrior for our new babies and their families and oh, boy, have I had a front row seat to God's seismic answers. 
He's called me to intercede for my own children and young grandchildren on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. Knee-wearing work with rippling effect!  
Encouraging young families as they dedicate their homes to our loving Father may seem mundane, maybe non-essential in the grand scheme of things, but don't be mistaken; it's gloriously pleasing to God.

Remember your first chapter books? 
Did you enjoy watching the plot develop or did you race through the chapters to see how it ended? Maybe even now, you read the last page first, robbing yourself of the dramatic twist and turns.
I'm choosing to stop counting, to get up and take the next small step of obedience while He turns the page. 
How about you?

You ask where the blog posts have gone.

I'm walking through a season of sadness and frankly, just weary of words.

I'm sad that our country is polarized, but even sadder that the values I hold dearly seem to be wasting away in the hearts of our people.

I'm sad that my life is no longer filled with children and grandchildren. The loss is so devastating that I can't risk spilling it on paper.

I'm sad that my children grieve harder than me.

Sad that Plan A is erased, Plan B-unlikely, Plan C-still to be determined.

So I cling to the wise, healing words of others for a while.  Courageous women and men, having also walked the road of suffering, lend a stronger voice than I can muster.

Listen in...

You don't think you'll live past it and you don't really.

The person you were is gone. But the half of you that's still alive wakes up one day and takes over again.  

Thanks for hope, Barbara Kingsolver

Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.

Interesting, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

No matter how deep the pit into which I descend, I keep finding God there...he is vulnerable to pain, quick to shed tears, and acquainted with grief. God is a suffering Sovereign who feels the sorrow of the world.

Very comforting, Jerry Sittser

There is no straight path leading you out of the valley of that shadow. That shadow world became home to me, just as it has to anyone who loses a partner. Partners without partners understand; partners with don't.

I understand, Rob Gieselmann

I wait expectantly for a bumper crop of fresh thoughts.