Friday, January 10, 2014

Last night, I dreamed about Rob for the first time since his death. I couldn't reach him; not too hard to interpret that one.
 Tears flowed all day...I suspect that is good grief.
 Fear continues to grip me.  Fear not, fear not, fear not beating hard in my chest...hiding those scriptures deep down.
I've heard that the greatest fear of widowhood is the fear of living. Sounds crazy, but I'm fighting it hard. It's really the fear of life's unknowns, all the "ifs" I certainly did not elect. 
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."
So I'm wondering, your Words really boil down to blind trust? Is it okay for me to shake a little as long as I place that first step in line with You? Is this courage you require really the act of ceding a very human emotion into your "more than able" Hands?

1 comment:

cal+claire said...

I am not God for sure, but I think He understands our questions and our shaking. He does not fail to use His people or accomplish His purposes because of fear - check out Moses. He loves you and will use you even in this