Tuesday, August 30, 2016

I've stared at this box for months. 
Today I will purge...organize...consolidate!
After managing to part with another bag of Rob's clothes and tackle a box of papers I'd brought home from his office, I'm ready to let go of some more of Rob. 
But, how do you place a lifetime in a couple of drawers?
My plan: With cup of cinnamon coffee and stash of Lorna Doones in hand, I will read each note written during his illness one more time, thank God for the sender and place only a few in the keep pile.
 Seriously, it's proving impossible to discard so much love!
Funny, how I read each card through a new lens. No more paralysis...no more blur. This time your words permeate and supply new and necessary strength.
This journey of grief may morph, but it still wears at my soul. 
The first prayer note I pick up is from dear Eddie Whittenberg. He recalls some fond memories of our friendship and ends with "Keep the faith!" I can hear his voice.
Janine Morrell recalls some words from our Bible study of Esther: "Christ is calling us all to something we will need courage to complete."
Personal words of affirmation... Rob, "You are a good man!" Allen Potter... Rob, "Your calm, confident, wise demeanor is always wrapped in warmth and welcome." Cyndi LeForce...Rob, "I've loved every moment of our friendship." Tom Trigger.
I could fill paragraph after paragraph with the kind words so many of you took the time to share. I'm reminded of a great man's legacy, but more importantly, of a greater, ever-present God. 
Somehow I've managed to whittle down this massive pile of love and corral it into a small, tidy box of powerful encouragement.
I'm sure I will need to visit it from time to time and one day my children will open it to find the rich love of the Church at its best.
There is power in a handwritten note!
Even a couple of personal thoughts bring encouragement on the darkest of days.
I will mostly treasure the memories you thoughtfully shared with us, the men who were not afraid to tell Rob that they loved him, and the written prayers covering the smallest details.
Seeking to learn from even this, I'm reminded that any lengthy wisdom, accounts of my past suffering and the normal chatter that fills most letters may be wasted on exhausted ears. Handmade preschool drawings heal better than articles outlining alternative therapies.
Yes, simple, life-giving notes keep on healing.
Keep them brief, personal, and real!
It's okay to address the elephant in the room when life looks short.
None of us understand the whys.
We are all sad.
We can't fix the mess. 
This may be the last time we have an earthly conversation.
Always err on the side of love!

Saturday, August 20, 2016

I have loved you 16644 days!
♥ 45 years 6 months 26 days ♥
Today we would have been married 40 years,
but our love story began 5 1/2 years earlier, sitting side by side
in a pie-shaped room, pounding on old typewriters.
          The most wonderful thing I decided to do was to share my life and heart with you!
We planned a celebration for today. 
Cake (one always needs cake)
family and friends
new vows       

Plans fold
and now faith, hope and love remain. 
The greatest of these are love.

  I listen to Beginnings, our song, with new ears. It was not until today that I realized how very painful it must have been for my husband to write these words.
Rob Moore to Robin Moore
When I'm with you, it doesn't matter where we are, 
or what we're doing
I'm with you, that's all that matters.
Time passes much too quickly when we're together laughing,
I wish I could sing it to you.
It's only the beginning of what I want to feel forever...
Robin--I'm afraid this will have to serve as your card this year. Thank you for 37 lovely years we've had together. I love you always and forever, 

I look up and send love to others...

Always and forever...

Sunday, August 14, 2016

I knew it would eventually happen—the pictorial directory update. Thankfully, I had the option of sending a digital photo to the church; there was no way I could stand before a photographer all by myself. 
A wave of great sadness settles over me...no family photo full of kids and now, not even a husband. Just single alone me. How could life have come to this? 
No ambush this time; just an unsettling reminder that time spent with my children and grandchildren is but a rare treat and now I walk hand in hand with only memories.
But I'm walking! I must move forward, one small obedient step after another. 
Like the old familiar hymn, trust and obey for there's no other way!

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Could I really find happy in the hard?
A mountain load of losses and difficult challenges in recent years...
I wasn't even sure happiness fit in my life anymore.  

Jennifer's invitation to join the launch team for her new book sparked something deep inside. She had me hooked with "You carry the DNA of your happy and holy God." Just as I had fought to choose joy in deep grief, I truly wanted to find something extraordinary in this new season without Rob. Happiness might possibly be the gift I could offer God. 
Oh, I was not disappointed—a great read!
 Well-researched and organized, The Happiness Dare explores five different happiness styles as well as practical ideas to foster our unique wiring. 
Just think, even our happiness is tailor made by our God! Jennifer not only shares her own honest pursuit of one of God's greatest gifts, but encourages her readers with exceptional stories of others finding their happiness in difficult situations. 

The Happiness Dare is not for wimps!
Oh, it's a delightful poolside read, but be prepared for God to change your life.
I discovered that The Experiencer is begging to emerge and it's going to take a lot of courage to open that door.
Are you ready to take The Happiness Dare?
Won't you join me as we find ourselves some happy?