Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Write them down

 


Sixty-nine years…ending another decade. A lifetime of memories, but I fear they are beginning to fade. 
When we were certain Rob would not see sixty, I gently coaxed him to tell me the hidden stories of his childhood. It was too late; he was fading away. I promised myself, I would leave our family snapshots of our life well-lived, but grief’s fog and a series of traumatic events left little energy for recall.  Most remain bottled up in my head, ready to spill. Write them down before it’s too late! 
1978-we had been married just over a year: a hard year, financially strapped, churchless, homesick for life back home in Kansas, and weary  from grief. A small apartment on busy Westheimer was our temporary home. Our budget didn’t allow for any fancy getaways or romantic dinners so date night meant exploring our immediate surroundings. A new mega music store, Sound Warehouse,  opened its doors at the corner of Voss and Westheimer and it soon became our Disneyland…well, mostly Rob’s dream store. I just tagged along, happy to be with him in his happy place.  
I still see that young, thin guy, clad in faded loose jeans and worn t-shirt, hunched over rows of records, intently memorizing lyrics and musicians. There was no Google search to later jog his memory; my musician stored every detail in his inquisitive brain.  Rob browsed for hours and I soaked in the music and him. 
One night,  he bought a new release, Dan Fogelberg’s Nether Lands. Trust me, it would not have been his pick of the night, but that was Rob, always thinking of others. We could not afford it, but he bought it anyway; he knew how much I loved Dan’s music and backstory. As usual, we closed down the store, carrying our new purchase to our next destination: House of Pies, open 24 hours a day. That night we probably had to share a piece of chocolate meringue pie and a drink; our cash was now quite low. Oh, but how rich was my heart. I had everything I needed and more. 

Scarecrow’s Dream, one of my most favorite songs from the album, plays on repeat as I enjoy my early morning coffee. Oh, how I hope you are making beautiful music, Rob. “And if you ever hear me calling out….”

Thursday, June 29, 2023

Bill’s wisdom

After 10 years, I am rereading Rob’s Caring Bridge site. There’s so much I’ve forgotten, a journey that deserves another trip. 

This entry speaks volumes to me. 


Journal Entry by Robin Moore — June 29, 2013


Rob asked me earlier this week how I thought he should  live out this devastating diagnosis. He wasn't talking about cures or drug therapies; he was really addressing the spiritual journey ahead of him. I've been chewing on this ever since. 

Today I visited my former dentist's CaringBridge site and his two year anniversary entry provided powerful wisdom. He suffered a freak fall, breaking his neck at C-3 and sustaining a severe injury. 

He writes: “Dear friends, since today is the two year anniversary of my injury, I have been reflecting on all that has happened during the past twenty-four months….Throughout my roller coaster recovery, God has used me miraculously for His purposes.  Presently, I am leading a nurse to begin reading the New Testament, and today one of our ministers asked me to give my testimony for a large men's group at our church.  Even though I am one year behind where I had hoped to be physically, I have joy knowing that I am bearing fruit spiritually.”

So I offer Bill’s wisdom. 

"How do I live out this terrible diagnosis?"  Continue to bear fruit.

Robin


And after ten years, I would only add Jesus’s wise directive which brings forth such fruit: remain.

 Remain in Me. Hold on tight!




Jeremiah 17:7-8

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,

whose confidence is in him.

They will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat come;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit."


John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.






Saturday, June 24, 2023

Ten years later

 















I was bargain hunting last week when I spotted this pair of charms. The box included the words: 

Made For Each Other. 

Yep, I bought them and once again, I  journeyed down memory lane. 

Summer of 1972-my grandparents invited Rob to join our family at their Florida home. My sweet Poppy bought my sister, Rob and me tickets to explore a new amusement park. Yes, it was Disney World’s first official summer. My sister tolerated our immature puppy love; God bless her! Years later, our own family made memories at the magical park and then, Rob and I celebrated our 50th birthdays with Mickey; we loved living happily ever after. 

Today marks the 10th anniversary of Rob’s cancer diagnosis and our family’s unthinkable journey with the pancreatic beast. 

I’m still trying to process why this particular year is harder than recent ones; perhaps milestone anniversaries are just naturally notable. I find myself wrestling with the thought of ten long years of more survival than surprise. Ten years of solo!

I stood over Rob’s grave this morning; some of my most authentic conversations with God happen in the quiet of the cemetery. 

I sincerely asked, “How long, O Lord? What are the plans You have for me?  Is there any more adventure as I enter this new chapter because time’s running out! God, I’m no longer looking for fairytales, just Your perfect, but elusive plan.”

And He lovingly  whispered back, “Have you forgotten that I

made you for Me? Remain in Me; trust my Goodness in the land of the living.” So we begin again…

Thursday, June 8, 2023

Eternal Perspective

I’ve been looking at what others are voicing on an eternal perspective; this woman’s thoughts really resonated with me. 


 

Monday, April 17, 2023

Press Forward

 ‘It’s a good kind of tired.’ Surely you’ve experienced it; what makes bone-weary fatigue something to cheer about? Good memories, a sense of purpose, reward? But what about in the spiritual sense? 

Obedience comes to mind. I can’t even imagine the fatigue Jesus experienced after hours of ministry in less than ideal conditions. The crowds pressing in…the pervasive brokenness…disciples watching miracle after miracle and still not understanding who He was. Oh, and all that walking in sandals without memory foam!

Exhausted Jesus never departed to  rest and reflect on what He had received; obedience to the mission at hand was his prime motive for seeking his Father. 

And us? At 68, fatigue happens a lot and the temptation to avoid it is real! Accepting assignments that will clearly produce exhaustion is often a real test of my own obedience. I watched as well some young parents this weekend, following after every step of their active toddlers; it would have been a lot easier to stay home, but they know all that mileage will eventually lead to their whole family knowing Christ.  

Pressing forward toward the Prize that awaits us requires our trust, focus, and dependence on the One who holds us. Eugene Peterson beautifully describes this journey, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction.  Press forward!

Monday, March 13, 2023

Confession

  As a volunteer in a global evangelism ministry, I’m always looking for different wording to discuss Christianity with seekers. Language barriers can make communication difficult at times and I try to share with simple phrases and illustrations. While researching today, I ran across a devotional by Pastor Colin Smith on confessing Christ as Lord and Savior and behold, an Edison moment!  Actually, a Holy Spirit moment as He illuminated a one syllable word.  

The Jesus statement in John 14:6 was the  heart of his message: Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life.” Many of us have memorized it, but how many of us have personalized this verse? Jesus is my way and my truth and my life.  A small two letter word changes everything.   Yes, it’s profoundly important to agree with and respect the integrity of what Jesus says about his own identity.  The descriptive the is definitive; Jesus clearly states He is the only means to eternal and abundant life.  But to respond with personal confession…well, it’s eternal and life-changing!  

I confess both: Jesus is my only Way, my only Truth and my only Life.  All in, not just considering His claims…my only Lord and Savior! 

 And yours?  

*I’m currently writing a collection of letters to my grandchildren.  I want to leave with them the important things of life and my confession of Jesus is my most important gift to them.  

  

  

Monday, February 13, 2023


It seems like life is one long climb to the summit more often than not. Lots of dilemmas and decisions… Anyone agree; fewer periods of easy coasting?

Mountaineer Jenn Drummond advises a climber to know her limits. 

“The mountain will always be there, so one failed attempt does not mean you have only 1 shot; it just means it’s easier to take yourself out of the game for that round than lose everything.”

I’ve been asking the same question: do I know when to fold ‘em, whether it’s  a temporary pause or a full out burial? What’s the difference between a wise surrender or simply just giving up? I’ve struggled with the folding part all my life, but hey, I don’t think I’m  alone. Look at Tom Brady!  When you invest your all into a goal, a mission , a career, a relationship, it’s hard to close that chapter because you leave a huge part of yourself behind. 

But that’s not really the question at hand: when is it best for you and the whole? Some signposts are clear: for me, a worn meniscus that can still avoid a total knee replacement shouts “wiser to walk away,” but some remain cloudy. 

1 Corinthians 12:25 offers me a very clear answer though: is it hurting the whole?