“When lesser goals capture your attention, I fade into the background of your life.” Sarah Young
True, but when I read it the early hour, I thought it read gods, not goals. It got me to thinking, goals stem from desires and priorities; can’t both morph into understudies waiting in the wings, poised to take center stage? Anything that fills the space reserved for God is suspect. 
So as I look to this year, focused on casting the things that hinder my walk with my Father, let me be quite intentional about slaying those lesser gods.  The biggest are always easiest to name: worry, gluttony, unbelief, but what about those of reasonable desire that somehow grow into giants, stealing time and focus from our relationship?
What are the guidelines? Surely, He’s okay with desires; He desires us!
I settle on Isaiah 26:8 as my wisdom: for Your Name and Your renown are the desire of our souls. Make God famous! Does my desire make God or instead,me known?
That’s it! Cast off all that returns the attention to me. 
Example-I’ve always been drawn to watercolor and recently I found some online tutorials. So I’ve purchased the recommended materials to give the medium a whirl. I may fail, I may stink! But will the journey help me to appreciate God’s creation in a sweeter way, settle my thoughts on Him as I paint, or even provide encouragement for others? If it becomes “look how good I am” it has morphed into one of those dangerous idols. Then, it’s time to cast; the attention shines on me. 
God is a gentleman. He will let me think I have the starring role and wait until I limp off the stage in defeat. Please, Lord, not this year? I want your Name  to receive first billing. Help me to cast these lesser gods in the weeks to come. 

2019

It’s here!

After five years of chaos, change, rebuild of not only my house, but my entire life, I’m ready for some REST. And rest can’t fully come unless I cast off the things that hinder me. To be quite honest, I’ve lived most of my life in the land of “should, should, and more should.”

“I should exercise more, save more money, work harder.” And don’t get me started on the spiritual; the list of should’s rival the 600+ laws in the Old Testament! Prayer, study, quiet time, service, TRUST...should do better. My mind is always on “should.” 

Not this year! I’m cleaning house: casting off the unnecessary, the guilt, the self-imposed pressure of being the best me. 

And the best thought of all, I know exactly on Whom I can throw off all that frees me from a year of worry, chaos, unrest!

Psalm 55:22

Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will not let the righteous be shaken.  

Hebrews 12:1

Let us throw off [cast] all that hinders us...from running a good race. 

2019 

Here I come running! 

January  2019
After riding the long wave of December, attempting to conquer unwanted  anniversaries created by cancer,  staring down the empty places at family celebrations, and trying too hard to convince the world-or just me-that life solo is not so bad, I’ve entered the new year depleted. Weeks filled with couple events, watching love unfold like a Hallmark card, takes its toll.  It’s the same every January, since Rob’s death. The first days ring extremely difficult; I’m emotionally exhausted and my glass threatens half-empty. The thought of living through  another year without Rob once again looms large and heavy. It’s a complicated train track...I feel myself gracefully moving forward in this new locomotion, yet fully aware that I still long for life on the opposite track, life as a wife, lover, constant companion. And I can’t jump track.
It’s another year living apart from family. Oh, I explore the options of relocating once again, but practicality and fiscal responsibility win the battle.
Again, this isn’t the life I planned, so January brings again the arduous task of realigning my desires and expectations with present reality...and it’s hard and lonely and messy.
I look ahead, set goals, surrender to the things I cannot change, but I’m keenly aware that life is forever different and the future...well, it’s still out there somewhere in the fog.
January is a messy, mysterious  co-existence of joy and grief -yes, the two can travel  together.
And February always comes...