Goodbye 2019...Goodbye Decade

Hello 2020

In these closing hours, I’m ready for a new chapter. I’ve been too busy to both look back at this past year and embrace the possibilities of the next ten years, but I’m ready for something new. What; I don’t know...yet, I’ll take the next weeks to quiet myself so I can listen to God. 

But this I do know will guide me into the new decade.

Consider Jesus. 

Know Jesus. 

Learn what kind of Person it is I say I trust, love and worship. 

Soak in the shadow of Jesus. 

Saturate my soul with the ways of Jesus. 

Watch Him. 

Listen to Him. 

Stand in awe of Him. 

Let Him overwhelm me with the way He is. 

John Piper

Perhaps that’s the only launch I need. 

Am I fading into the woodwork? I’m beginning to feel invisible. My voice evaporates in the conversation; I’m not sure I’m invited to the table any longer.   
I remember sitting with my own gray-haired relatives, soaking in their wisdom, their rich history. Will mine ever be received or has the lure of the screen finally buried my generation’s treasury?
My soul is lonely this holiday season, but this I’ve rediscovered: without a voice, I will wither.
 “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou 

I keep pinching myself; life has taken a really good turn and this year our family has come home for Christmas. Yet, grief covers me like a weighted blanket. You are not here to enjoy it; that makes me deeply sad. How can this void suck me in when I’m surrounded by such joy?  You should be carving our meat, holding babies, filling the trash bag with the aftermath of bows and wrappings. Your absence is ever present. 

"May you see God’s light on the path ahead
when the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear even in your hour of sorrow
the gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard
may hardness never turn your heart to stone.
May you always remember when the shadows fall
You do not walk alone."