Sunday, August 30, 2015

Tonight, I run across a corporate Christmas card that Rob saved for me a few years back. He always knew which ones I would appreciate for their creativity. 
Grief sweeps over me once again.
I miss the corporate side of our relationship: the ball games with clients, stimulating conversation over business dinners, and yes, even the annual stuffy holiday party.  I miss discourse with attorneys and executives; I long to once again peer over Rob's articles, gleaning new knowledge from each one of them.  As silly as it might sound, I peek in my closet, filled with business and cocktail attire, and wonder if I'll ever wear any of it again.
Because this part of our life suddenly died the day Rob was diagnosed, I mourn another facet of my lost identity ripped from me with no time to prepare. 
Oh, this is a complicated road to travel.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

It's 2 a.m. I'm home and exhausted. It hits me that I'll awaken later this morning to an empty house once again. I already miss the chaos and race to get three littles ready for the day. No more soft touch of red toddler curls and sweet smelling baby cheeks...My arms scream empty; I long to cuddle all twenty plus pounds of pure joy. I didn't store up enough kisses before I raced for the plane. I'm left with a single disk filled with photos of infectious smiles and child play. I want more than memories.


Thursday, August 20, 2015

My dearest Rob...
Yellow roses wrapped in teal ribbon.
Remember? 39 years ago... they filled the sanctuary.
At the time, we didn't know they represented contentment, everlasting joy and warm friendship...
pretty fitting for what would bloom over our years together.

A hot August day in Kansas and I chose long-sleeved dresses for the bridesmaids! The year of white tuxes for grooms and puffy sleeves for brides...I chuckle now, but in 1976, we thought we were quite in fashion.

Remember our surprise when we learned the Republican Convention had scheduled their little event in our hometown on OUR WEEKEND? How dare they book every Kansas City hotel room and restaurant!
We might have been two poor college grads on a very slim wedding budget, but we were rich in love and dreams for the future.

Today, I remember our special day while I love on three of our beautiful grandchildren; you are right in the midst of the chaos, tucked snugly in my heart! Not a minute do you ever leave me, my beloved. I smile a lot these days as our sweet memories carry me to pleasant places.


The farther back you  can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.   

                                        Winston Churchill 

                  You might want to read   last year's post.                        

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

"It's so hot here in Texas that the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs!"
Just ask my trees...boy, are they stressed.  My tree man once told me I could care for thirsty trees by drilling a few tiny holes in the bottom of five-gallon buckets, then setting them around the root line.
I've been filling those babies up with gallons of water almost every day and I notice the trees aren't dropping as many leaves. 
Now, I've also heard that storms make trees take deeper roots.  Hmm...maybe the rainfall from a series of storms?
All I know is I want to prepare my giants for a Texas-size hurricane that might uproot them, causing a lot of collateral damage.
How do we protect ourselves from being uprooted by the emotional tsunamis life throws at us?  Same thing...we need deep roots.
I've had my share of ravaging ones in the past decade and find myself facing the newest one, perhaps one of the hardest so far.  
I'm learning to soak my roots long and well before the pain and loss hits.
Jeremiah said it well:
"But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought.  Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT
It's not wise to wait for the crisis! I need to drench my soul in the eternal truths of my Creator, my Protector, my Redeemer, soaking in the Scriptures long before the squalls are on the horizon.  I have to believe that He is enough, nothing else satisfies!
My bucket-laden yard isn't the prettiest these dog days of summer and often, neither is my life, but what lies below is hardy and ready for the blows. 

Those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life. Jesus
                                                                                                    John 4:14

Monday, August 3, 2015

Press On
I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.  Philippians 3:14

Enchanted Rock