Thursday, April 3, 2014

God put the sunshine back in Southern 
California today.
I wish my heart felt as sunny.
I am surrounded by love here: a lively four year old full of hugs, an infectious ten month old who gives "drooly" kisses and their parents who are kind and patient and understanding.
But the elephant remains in the room. We all know it's not the same without Rob. There's no March Madness on the T.V., no Baba sitting on the floor playing among the Disney Princesses, and no field trips to the Valley Kitchen or Coronado Beach with the grandgirls.  I suppose it takes too much energy to raise the obvious. 
I find his voice in a Hallmark recordable book...ambushed, delighted all at once.
I listen over and over to every mid west inflection; for a moment, Rob fills the room. But as with all good stories, we must close the page until we revisit once again. 
A lot like grief...


cal+claire said...

While I will never know your grief exactly, I remember finding something that reminded me of a lost one and though it was so precious to me, it was also a new, open reminder of grief. I know you were blessed by hearing his voice, but also grieved at the reminder that he is not with you. No matter how much we remind ourselves that they are with Jesus, it doesn't really lessen the present sting by much. Their presence is still desperately missed. I'm praying for you!

Robin said...

Claire, you always offer perfect words of encouragement. It is not easy to read someone else's pain day after day, but you are such a faithful friend to walk this with me.