Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I met a woman today who was quick to tell me her story...a love story that is now only a memory. A beautiful storyteller who needed another soul to listen to her heart, her hurting heart. One remark pierced: "Everyone wants to take the pain away; they want to fix me."  A year ago, I would have fumbled a response, for what would I have known about losing most of my heart? But today, as a woman barely on this same journey, I offered a soft "Yes, they want to fix you, but no one on this earth can heal your deepest grief, my sweet one." Oh, how I wanted to continue with..."and no one can put you on a timetable. Don't believe that the best thing to do is to 'just get busy' or listen to 'don't look back; look to the future.' " 
We are fixers by nature; mourners make us feel uncomfortable so we offer our own plan for healing, often ill-advised, and we hope it ends the pain for both parties. Another's grief often mirrors our worst nightmare so we shield our fear with hasty solutions. Problem solved! We can get on with life.
Some of us are stuffers; we push down pain, while many of us are fillers, drowning loss with more life noise. But few are courageous enough to let grief have it's way until true healing takes place. 
I tried the former, rushing through the loss of four parents. Complicated grief...don't go there...stuff it! Keep moving...over schedule...desensitize the pain with more and more commitment. How did that work for you, Robin?  Today, I grieve five loved ones, a mountain of mourning, all at once!  
This time I will listen to only One Fixer! He will plot the course and season and I will bravely let Him mend this shattered heart, one painful stitch at a time. 
Writing a love story takes time, my friend; sealing it shares the same slow journey.



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