Sunday, May 4, 2014

God said "No." You all prayed with me; you know. We prayed hard and long. We asked with persistence and passion, but in the end, He still answered "No."
We can dodge the reality of unanswered prayer with lovely platitudes, but my reality of an empty home remains.
I highlight Rob's life verse in the pages of Bibles, hoping his students will hide it in their hearts. 
Would it not make more sense for them to carry his weekly lessons, the "so whats" in their lives? 
God answered, "No." 
I record memories for the babies.
Would it not be better for them to make memories with a living, breathing grandfather?
God answered, "No."
And I can't stop asking, "Why?" 
And I can't fill my empty heart!
None of it makes sense and I'm rubbing my soul raw trying to find answers.
When will I bury entitlement and just seek Him for all He is?
When will I place brokenness in his hands and let Him create in me something better?
When will I wage no more war and fill the empty places with Peace? 

1 comment:

cal+claire said...

I love your heart.