She leaned in and reassured, "The lesions have not grown...everything looks good...I'll see you in six months." After I had held my breath through what seemed the longest ultrasound in history, I exhaled deep relief in response to my young, beautiful radiologist's good news. 
Then, I went to text Rob...and then, I cried.  Another never again moment!
There have been several of these lately. Wouldn't one think by now these knee-jerk responses would be a thing of the past?  
It got me thinking; would I want to lose that connection with Rob? 
Peter Flamming asks similar questions.

    Would you really like to live

    as if that person's place in

 your life really didn't matter?

 Don't you see that part of the

intense pain of your grief is

your tribute to the one you

have loved and lost?

I suppose Rob will continue to be part of my habits and perhaps, it is healthy ...if anything, it is my present reality!