Saturday, September 20, 2014

Dearest Rob,
I went to see our Grace play volleyball tonight. She's moved positions and is now the team's libero. She's using a lot of skills honed from her previous position as she adjusts to her new responibility.  You would have been so proud of her, diving for balls, thinking (literally) on her feet, and finishing strong.
I cheered loudly from both of us, Rob, just as you would want.
Leaving the gym in a cheerful mood, I asked myself, "Should I?" The night seemed too beautiful to sit in a lonely house on a Friday night...again.
"Why not?" and within minutes after hopping in the car, I was rolling down the road with the convertible top wide open to the night sky! Music turned up, breeze in my face, I drove until I escaped the city lights. Oh Rob, remember our fun dates in our string of convertibles?  Driving through bluebonnet lined country roads...exploring Texas in those two-seaters? Now I'm sorry for the few times I insisted that you keep "the lid on all the fun," making some flimsy excuse about the wind messing up my hair.
 Were you able to look down and see me parked in the country silence, staring up at the heavens?  Nothing but a few wispy clouds to hide the brilliance of the stars... I wonder; do you still look up and see stars or is Heaven closer than I think?
Rob, could you see me reach over and place my hand on the seat you occupied for five short months?  Funny how I caught myself repeating my familiar pat and whispering, "It's going to be okay."   And for the first time in months, I really thought it might be okay, at least for a while. I experienced some electricity traveling through these weary bones tonight and it felt good. Maybe like our Grace, I'm going to be able to infuse some of the old strengths into this new, shaky role...and finish strong. 
On the way home I grinned at how silly I must have looked, flying down that freeway, singing at the top of my lungs  and as I pulled into the driveway after my wild ride, lyrics, written for the Creator of song, caught my attention.  I wonder if He would mind if I assign them to you, Rob, just this once. 
Out on the farthest edge
There in the silence
You were there
My faith was torn to shreds 
Heart in the balance
And you were there
Always faithful, always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

And you do...

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

So, do you know that Ken and I now have a cute little convertible?!? And I'm ashamed to admit that there have been times when I've asked to keep the top on because otherwise my hair will be a complete mess by the time we get there! Ken almost ALWAYS drives with the top down! :) Thanks for the reminder to just enjoy all the moments!!!