Saturday, February 21, 2015

They're gone!
Rob's bouquet missing and when I realize the ground crew has not replaced them after a nearby burial, I fall apart.  My husband's grave bare of flowers on Valentine's Day.
A silly thing for most, but not a grieving wife who knows little else to show her love on this side of Heaven, especially when she is 1,300 miles away.
My note, weathered by the elements, remains.

I snatch it and leave.
Again, I have to take care of business I thought I would never undertake.
I don't want to put flowers on a grave; I don't want a grave.  I want Rob!
Truth be told, I'm tired...tired of loneliness, business decisions, and putting on a mask for all to feel a bit more comfortable.
I miss Rob's arms swallowing me, his smile, his soul next to mine. 
I want to give up and that's exactly where I need to be.
Back in the starting block, back to run  straight into arms that hold me best.
A God who doesn't compare my pain to others or sit me on his lap for a scripture lesson, but a Father who simply embraces and loves all of my brokenness. 
For He is strong in my weakness.
Whom have I in heaven but Him?
He is my strength and my portion.


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