I'll be home for Christmas...if only in my dreams. Bing's version is still the best and the sappy song gets me every time it plays. 
When my travel plans were thwarted, I picked up the pieces of my broken heart and asked God to make a way for me to be in my own home, if even for a couple of days. He did not disappoint. 
It took some creativity and resourcefulness since I have open walls, no water heater and little kitchen. 
I just wanted my home. I packed up my beautiful wreath from the preschool department, my hilarious Santa from the Rogers and paper goods and baby wipes.  (Yes, a girl still has to take some sort of a bath.) I bought a butterfly chair and stool from the local sporting goods store and some comfort food.

Now I'm not kidding myself, Christmas alone in a drafty, dirty structure is hard. Ask Mary; her Christmas nursery was similar. 

But if I've learned anything these last few years, it's to embrace the hard. Move through it. Let it teach you.
Are you asking the obvious; Why would you subject yourself to the loneliness of this kind of Christmas?
A thousand times I asked the same and a lot of other questions as well. God, why do hurting people have to hurt others? Hasn't there been enough loss? Should I move?  and even, Should I remarry?!?
Truth be told, I turned down a host of invitations to share in friends' family Christmases, but I knew I'd be even lonelier, missing my people, my grand babies.

I entered this crazy idea knowing one huge truth: We meet Jesus in the loneliest places. 

The entire advent season I came to Bethlehem to see and I knew I most likely would find a lot of Jesus on this most unusual Christmas Day.

He did not disappoint me. He wrote His NAME all over his birthday. He provided memories of a home filled with His love, the kindness of a Starbuck's employee when I realized I forgot the coffee, the solace of the Scriptures.  Sometimes, He's awfully hard to find in the flurry of holiday. Oh, but in the still...

I've lived long enough to realize Christmas plans can come crushing down...unexpected illness...unexpected loss...unexpected weather, so I don't bank my joy on one day anymore. 

Christmas joy is that hidden gift mistakenly left under the tree. Waiting to be unwrapped the day after and after and after. Waiting in the hard...waiting for a home.

Come, thou long expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth thou art;
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart.

Charles Wesley