Saturday, July 2, 2016

My friend, Laura, is a giver according to the #TheHappinessDare assessment.
After a packed day, she bopped into my hospital room with Eagle Scout cake and cookies, a Scripture coloring book and these glorious gel pens. Her gift was the conversation starter of every employee and guest; the pen tower just made everyone smile! 
I have a lot of friends whose happiness style appears to be givers. If you could have only seen the carryout cart full of flowers and balloons, a beautiful new nightgown mixed in with perfectly folded, clean laundry, and even Lorna Doones! 
What I've discovered is that I am a terrible receiver! I immediately started the "you shouldn't have" and wanted to bounce out of bed (on one leg) and buy each kind giver a present.  I would have flunked GIFT GRACE if it too had been part of the Happiness inventory
Why do I feel so uncomfortable being the recipient? I scored fairly high as a giver, but I'm not at all sure that would be the reason. It's probably wrapped up in my flawed I don't deserve it self-worth, like most things. What I have discovered is that I rob my friends of their happiness when I get all clammy and awkward about being on the receiving end; I'm afraid my genuine delight and gratitude gets lost in the moment.  Considering I scored off the charts as a happy THINKER, wouldn't I feel cheated if the givers and relaters rolled their eyes at all of the thoughts that flow from my musings? Yes, this has me thinking—no pun intended.
In all seriousness, Jennifer Dukes Lee's new book is stretching me; it's freeing me to accept my happiness style and venture into the others. I actually find I feel quite content when I cross off an item on my (well, pretty short) to do list. I might never score high on the doer profile, but I'm not ignoring the satisfaction of being productive either. But just as important, her book is encouraging me to embrace my friends and family's expressions of happiness. 
I can't wait for you all to get The Happiness Dare in your hands so we can continue the discussion. Until then, I'll go back to daydreaming....  

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