Mondays with Jesus-Plans

 “I had my life planned out,” she shared; I don’t think I heard another word after that. So did I!

 I never planned to divide life by b.c. and a.c; before cancer/after cancer. We had cared for parents and grandparents with the dreaded diagnosis, but our family regrouped and returned to our life as we had known it. 

Cancer was a season, not a lifetime companion. Gene mutations lived in a remote lab, not in my closest people. Scans were annual annoyances, not riddled with anxiety and IV’s were for blood donations, not life-sucking chemo infusions. A June 2013 diagnosis of pancreatic cancer changed everything and then, came breast cancer. 

What is your before and after? Divorce, miscarriage, addiction, a career loss?   How do you make a meaningful life amidst broken plans? I’ve been sitting with Jeremiah and the exiles in chapter 29 this week; every time I read it something new jumps off the page. For example, the Message translation includes a clause in verse 11: God promises, “I know what I’m doing.  I have it all planned out.”  His after holds great promise; it’s your starting point, your foundation!

And this grabbed me: plant something new. Stop trying to make the shards of a past life sprout and start growing something new and beautiful. Plant a new relationship, a talent, something! Nourish it with love and hope and watch what God does. Read it for yourself; you’ll find inspiration. 

This past weekend I met Doris, a brain cancer warrior, in Lynn Eib’s book, When God & Cancer Meet. This is how she loved her a.c. 

life:  Are you convinced that neither chemo nor radiation, neither scans nor surgery, neither good news, nor bad news, neither predictions nor unanswered prayers, nor anything else in all the world of cancer, will be able to separate you from the love of God that is yours in Christ Jesus? 

Now, you fill in your own after and let’s both rest in His love and better plan.

Mondays with Jesus-A Place at the Table

The fall semester has begun and I’ve settled into a rhythm. Quiet Mondays after a hectic weekend and before a challenging midweek. If the Lord calls me to write, I suspect it will be a collection of thoughts that may not necessarily string together in a polished fashion, but a patch of thoughts that will guide my week.  Monday musings….

One of my favorite things to do is to find an obscure book at a secondhand store. I usually ask God if He has something in mind for me before I begin my fun search. Last week, I found a thin book nestled between some heavy theology works: When God and Cancer Meet by Lynn Eib, a pastor’s wife and oncology counselor. She shares some poignant stories of her work with former patients; this one hit home! She writes of Lyle, a Leukemia patient, and his return to God. One of his quotes shook me: “I can’t believe I left the body of Christ.” Sit with that for a moment. It’s huge!

My parents left church after a conflict over tithing; by the grace of God,  I found Jesus on the first day of my junior year through a little tract being passed out by Young Life. But I missed out on the life-changing experience in my early years. I have dear family and friends who too have left the body of Christ (that term sounds a lot more personal than church, doesn’t it?) I’m undone thinking of the remorse they might feel if their wake-up call comes late in life. Oh, Father, bring them back soon to the deep joy of meeting You in a fellowship, a body, of others seeking to know You more. This is my urgent prayer!

That brings me to my second reflection for this week: Jesus really does invite everyone to his Table. That includes the poor in spirit….those of us that recognize our heart’s poverty and dependence on God.  In October, my church is offering a “Gathering in the Gym” on Sunday mornings. I can’t wait to see who Jesus has invited to his new table of worship, restoration, and life in Him. I truly believe this will be one of his finest fruits from our recent season of revival. 

I’m reminded of these old hymn lyrics: earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling…Come Home!

Change of Plans

 I like having a plan and sticking to it.  Since I’ve been praying this small but powerful prayer each morning, I’ve had to relinquish my plans a lot! “More of You, LORD, less of me.” 

I spent a grueling month preparing to teach the CARS section of the MCAT to a student. I had devised a solid plan to teach her how to “fish”  for correct cues instead of just memorizing the passages and corresponding answers. In short, I was let go.  Fast forward to last night….a couple from her country of birth appeared in class. One month in the States and no English! What? MCAT to the very basics? “More of Me, less of you, Robin” It was so fun and I have new friends, strangers to our culture. My plan was thrown out; Jesus was very present. 

On the same night, I was rushing to prayer meeting, my favorite hour of the week, and a friend stopped me. She needed help and prayer straight away.  I did not make it to the chapel; God had planned a “when two” gathering right there on the sidewalk. 

I had a predetermined plan for the evening; God had a better one. I was reminded that church is not always a physical place to assemble and serve, but a sacred space where the Holy Spirit collectively lives among His believers….He wants to move.

Stay Close

 

I relocated my bird feeder yesterday. It was hanging from a shepherd’s hook away from the tree and had become an easy landing pad for the big birds. The doves had moved in, hoarding the real estate, and the former residents were visiting less  often….only a quick snack and run. What a beautiful surprise after hanging it in my Crepe Myrtle; the smaller birds began feasting, nestled among the branches. My little friends seemed happier and more comfortable sitting on their perches.

It got me to thinking; what made the difference? Perhaps, they were now  in their natural habitat. Maybe, because they were no longer in the wide open, they felt connected to something more familiar. That’s not all; before long the tree was teeming with birds. They were flocking to the branches, waiting to be fed. 

A lot like us, don’t you think? When we find our resting place, we relax a little better. It feels familiar, like we were always meant to come home. Every time we connect with our perfect Vine, we linger a little longer because we know He’s going to spread a feast before us. Jesus is going to prune us and we’ll begin to bear a new crop of good fruit. We feel safe, cared for and you know what? We, too, begin to flock; Jesus has time to rub off on us as we abide in Him; He begins to shine through us and others just want a taste!

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. John 25:4

 

A long obedience

 I’ve been limping through life lately. I suppose that’s not totally out of the ordinary for a full-blooded empath. Cancer and chemo stinks; global hardships endured by friends leave me helpless. I’ve been on the brink of walking away from some important ministries. Hey, I’m 70 now; don’t I deserve to take it easy?   That might be my plan, but not God’s. 

Last Sunday, our youth minister threw down the gauntlet..Just obey, he preached. I was questioning whether I even had the knowledge and maturity to continue, but God said, “Just show up! Minister in your quirky way and I’ll use it. All I want is for you to plant seeds and I’ll water them.”

Last weekend, when I wanted to pull the covers up over my head, I planted real seeds for a hurting friend and me. My first wimpy thought was, “They’ll probably not grow.” Well, two days later…they sprouted! I put out sugar water and the hummingbirds showed up and more importantly, I said yes to two ministries…little steps of obedience turn into long obedience. I’m still limping, but with trust and expectation. 

Trust in the One

My family’s first bomb dropped in our lap in June 2013, terminal pancreatic cancer, and then again early in 2024, stage 2 breast cancer caused by a broken BRCA2 gene. Later last spring, a third bomb landed;  another sibling receives the news: positive for BRCA2 mutation. Last week, we finally received confirmation that Rob carried this horrible mutation; that one ripped a piece of my heart. 

I have had a week to sit with it and this is what I have gleaned: I’ve stopped looking for guarantees in this earthly life unless they come from the Word of God. I am guaranteed that Almighty God will sustain me no matter what happens and I find my peace in just that.  I can ride that Truth into eternity. I have no assurances when it comes to cancer; none of us do. Micro-metastases can grow in spite of all the cancer-killing agents and God can prevent a weak gene from misbehaving. No one is handed a never-cancer pass; it will most likely visit every family in some form.  

I still hurt and feel great sadness,  but I trust God with the outcome. God is our only guarantee. 

Broken Genes, Broken Dreams

 It was confirmed yesterday; Rob carried a broken gene that ended many of our dreams: planned retirement and ministry together, co-grandparenting, life without overarching concern for the health of some of our children and grandchildren who carry the altered gene.  

So this is how our enemy wants to wear me down? Like so many of my friends, I’m not rising often from my knees these days; our kids are fighting serious battles. Families are torn and worn by emotional shrapnel, the fallout of a broken world. 

Yesterday, I was staring into a deep pit, tempted to stand in agreement with our arch-enemy. YOUR GOD IS NOT BIG ENOUGH!  But a dear brother in Christ stopped to comfort and speak truth. He kept reminding me that God is so much bigger than the chaos. Yes, the Maker of DNA and Creator of exquisite genetic sequences surely can redeem unwanted interruptions in a harmful gene and He can save our children from the fallout. Our God is mighty to save and his plans are good. I must trust that God knows what He purposes to accomplish on an eternal scale. 

So today I pray as He protects my loved ones and I leave the future in his Almighty Hands. I remind myself that even though Rob did not live out our small earthly dreams, his faith has been made sight, God’s biggest work realized and no brokenness to be found!