Ten years later

 

I was bargain hunting last week when I spotted this pair of charms. The box included the words: 

Made For Each Other. 

Yep, I bought them and once again, I  journeyed down memory lane. 

Summer of 1972-my grandparents invited Rob to join our family at their Florida home. My sweet Poppy bought my sister, Rob and me tickets to explore a new amusement park. Yes, it was Disney World’s first official summer. My sister tolerated our immature puppy love; God bless her! Years later, our own family made memories at the magical park and then, Rob and I celebrated our 50th birthdays with Mickey; we loved living happily ever after. 

Today marks the 10th anniversary of Rob’s cancer diagnosis and our family’s unthinkable journey with the pancreatic beast. 

I’m still trying to process why this particular year is harder than recent ones; perhaps milestone anniversaries are just naturally notable. I find myself wrestling with the thought of ten long years of more survival than surprise. Ten years of solo!

I stood over Rob’s grave this morning; some of my most authentic conversations with God happen in the quiet of the cemetery. 

I sincerely asked, “How long, O Lord? What are the plans You have for me?  Is there any more adventure as I enter this new chapter because time’s running out! God, I’m no longer looking for fairytales, just Your perfect, but elusive plan.”

And He lovingly  whispered back, “Have you forgotten that I

made you for Me? Remain in Me; trust my Goodness in the land of the living.” So we begin again…