Sadness drowns our souls. Both of us grieve what we will most likely miss as a couple. The trip to view autumn foliage, playing catch with little Stephen and Matthew, our fortieth anniversary, Bobby's wedding, Disneyland with Sam and Jill.  Sometimes I scream why; other times I shrink with acceptance and anguish. 
We kneel as one; bent heads pour out our breaking hearts. Sweet intimacy soothes like the balm I nightly rub into Rob's edematous, misshapen feet.  How can blessing spill from such heaviness?

You've heard our prayers, oh LORD! More time... Our hearts are are overflowing with gratitude!

I am so scared tonight! This could be the last time I pack our infusion bag and as much as I hate going to the hospital, I would welcome the long days over the alternative. This is too real; wake me from this nightmare. God have mercy on Rob and me so I will not endure sorrow. (Philippians 2:25-30.) I can't imagine life without him. Please reach down and breath life into his organs!