This fight against the Beast is a lonely one. I can't share Rob's pain or his search for what is ahead. I can't expect others to stop their own living to stand guard with us through every stomach ache, every infusion, every fear. The night watch is the loneliest...waiting for the 3:30 meds; watching a wracked husband finally drift off into peaceful sleep. A friend tells me loneliness is a gift from God, a time to enter the intimate space with the relationship Maker.  My head and heart agree, but I'm too exhausted to speak with or to cry to the One who goes before me and secures the rear. My Father and I, we sit. I stare into the darkness and He watches over Rob and me. And He whispers that Jesus is the One who looks upon with great compassion. He quietly reminds me that there are His faithful few pleading in these early hours.