They're gone!

Rob's bouquet missing and when I realize the ground crew has not replaced them after a nearby burial, I fall apart.  My husband's grave bare of flowers on Valentine's Day.

A silly thing for most, but not a grieving wife who knows little else to show her love on this side of Heaven, especially when she is 1,300 miles away.

My note, weathered by the elements, remains.

I snatch it and leave.

Again, I have to take care of business I thought I would never undertake.

I don't want to put flowers on a grave; I don't want a grave.  I want Rob!

Truth be told, I'm tired...tired of loneliness, business decisions, and putting on a mask for all to feel a bit more comfortable.

I miss Rob's arms swallowing me, his smile, his soul next to mine. 

I want to give up and that's exactly where I need to be.

Back in the starting block, back to run  straight into arms that hold me best.

A God who doesn't compare my pain to others or sit me on his lap for a scripture lesson, but a Father who simply embraces and loves all of my brokenness. 

For He is strong in my weakness.

Whom have I in heaven but Him?

He is my strength and my portion.