I needed human interaction on this pandemic Mother’s Day, not just a drive-by wave as in weeks past, but time to watch my grands run around the yard without fear of abusing the 6 feet rule. 
It took a lot of preparation and creativity, but we managed a fun outing. I convinced the littles that we were playing dress up with masks, homemade face shields and my nursing PPE. Peekaboo with my headgear made Chloe laugh and feel comfortable with this new version of her Gigi. But it was surreal.

This morning,  I’m staring down my last necessary continuing education courses to renew my professional license. Why follow through?  Is this another dead end, another loss? Will I ever be able to practice again or volunteer with a medical ministry? I want so much to head for the front line, yet, I’m stuck in the reality of vulnerability. I no longer don my armor to heal; my equipment now monitors my own malady, not the vitals of my patients.

Am I permanently sidelined?