His Goodness

Rebuilding is not for the fainthearted. There's a flurry of activity at my house this week. Dust is flying along with buzzing of saws and popping of nail guns. An amazing pantry is almost finished and there are new baseboards taller than the waters that invaded my home seven months ago. We are at the point where I must choose a paint color.  Who knew gray could be so complicated?
Just as I think I can't make one more wonderful decision, another one comes my way today. It appears I might have room to make one or two more upgrades. (Shh...can't give away the surprises all at once.)
Driving home this evening, my head still spinning, I had this consuming thought: But God, I don't deserve all this goodness. I just don't deserve all this beauty.  
My dear friend, Jan, had just given me an hour long pep talk and I was still drowning in guilt.

 I just don't deserve all this goodness!

And wouldn't you know it, I heard it, that audible God-whisper that shouts deep! 

No, you don't deserve it.

You don't deserve anything!

I just want to gift you. I love you and want this for you. Please accept my gift. Please let Me love you. Just be grateful, my child.   Yes, it's Me...God

If you know me well, you know extravagance is not my style. I'm frugal; I live simply. Past remodels, even the necessary ones, were difficult for me, because...well, I just don't think I deserve them. They were usually  completed with a huge dose of the reluctance and some never began because someone else had better need of the funds.  This is foreign territory for me, folks.   Very foreign!

But these days, when God speaks, I listen well.

So tomorrow, I will walk in the house and give God the praise He deserves for his lavish gift. I'm going to let Him smother me with all his goodness.

All this blessing: a construction team that is clearly His hands and feet, friends that love me through all my quirkiness and indecision, manna from unexpected sources, a newly resurrected rose bush that reminds me of my Rob who shared this space with me. He would have been very grateful of all this goodness.

He led me to a place of safety;
    he rescued me because he delights in me.

Psalm 18:19