Funny Little Valentines

They're gone!

Rob's bouquet missing and when I realize the ground crew has not replaced them after a nearby burial, I fall apart.  My husband's grave bare of flowers on Valentine's Day.

A silly thing for most, but not a grieving wife who knows little else to show her love on this side of Heaven, especially when she is 1,300 miles away.

My note, weathered by the elements, remains.

I snatch it and leave.

Again, I have to take care of business I thought I would never undertake.

I don't want to put flowers on a grave; I don't want a grave.  I want Rob!

Truth be told, I'm tired...tired of loneliness, business decisions, and putting on a mask for all to feel a bit more comfortable.

I miss Rob's arms swallowing me, his smile, his soul next to mine. 

I want to give up and that's exactly where I need to be.

Back in the starting block, back to run  straight into arms that hold me best.

A God who doesn't compare my pain to others or sit me on his lap for a scripture lesson, but a Father who simply embraces and loves all of my brokenness. 

For He is strong in my weakness.

Whom have I in heaven but Him?

He is my strength and my portion.

  

My Perfect Valentine

I swaddled my heart tight, hoping it would keep from fracturing once again. That penetrable shell melted the moment my daughter placed her new one in my arms. We were meant to love, not hide; weren't we...and love swallowed me with one quick glance.

I happily took the night shift and we kissed away the stark surprises of life outside the womb. We mused about days and dreams to come and I whispered sweet prayers to Heaven for this little miracle.

Little One crept deep, deep into my heart still brimming with grief. 

My Perfect Valentine

I vowed, always a fragile gamble, that I would never again give my heart to another man.  I've failed miserably; there is a new male in my life...all eight pounds of baby boy. I've surrendered to love and tonight I feel the twinges of familiar pain as I long to wrap these empty arms around human flesh once again.

Missing you, little one...sleep tight.

IF I HAD A FLOWER FOR EVERY TIME I THOUGHT OF YOU...

I COULD WALK THROUGH MY GARDEN FOREVER. 
ALFRED TENNYSON