Modah Ani

 I sat in bed covered in warmth this cold morning. I sipped on fresh organic coffee as I read Scripture from a Bible I did not need to hide. In contrast, a good portion of the world returned to refugee camps, searched for clean water and held worship in secret. Some still huddled in pitch-black tunnels!  

Modah ani l’fanecha /Thanks I give You.  

For You lavish me with an easy life; I am not blind to that, Abba Father.     

I had no idea that accepting a weekly teaching assignment would radically change the way I perceive the world.  I’m learning Hebrew in order to better understand how difficult it is for my lovely students  to speak English. I’m also immersing in the culture and history of my new “other language” as well as those of my new friends’ homelands.  It is a dangerous undertaking!  Blinders are off and my heart has been ripped wide open  You see my “people” have endured unimaginable struggles; I have not. 

They are teaching me to be thankful in all circumstances, even the most evil ones, to look at every moment as a God-given gift and to “pray my knees raw,” sharing their burdens.  Our conversations are not empty or frivolous and my heart collects the burdens each new friend carries. 

This morning, John again reminds me to remain in the One who is Light. This world is filled with darkness; I have a front row seat to it every week, but the Light always  overcomes it. 

Modah ani 

Mondays with Jesus

This morning, I awoke to a Father who pursues me with a crazy love, to a Savior who calls me friend, and a Comforter who fills me with love for both.   

I could live out my Mondays, only reflecting on the honor of knowing them and never needing any other truth or focus. 

I finished my second course in the Gospel of John last Thursday; I  love this conversation between Jesus and his Abba: 

 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

  “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me.  I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” John 17: 24-25 NIV

Knowing and believing, what a wonderful privilege and one day we will see Jesus in all his glory in Heaven. Who could ask more?

Mondays with Jesus

 I mentioned Saturday that I spent time at my Church’s ‘Wailing Wall,’ a prayer opportunity to plead for our very broken world. It was sobering as we interceded for those forced into hotel rooms, dark tunnels, war torn cities and other  dens of trauma and torture.

Today,I sat at length with the Father, asking how long, oh Lord?  Please relieve this suffering!  Dr. Denison wrote from a different perspective: “Feel the agony of the Father as he allows his precious Son to die so we can be forgiven and live eternally.”  I ask why; Jim exposes the Father’s heart. Sin and evil must crush Abba’s heart. And should it not ours?

And then this:

ROMANS 5:8

"Do you see how deeply I love you: even when you turned away, even when your heart was far from me, I didn’t wait for you to get it right. I didn’t wait for you to fix yourself or prove your worth. My love is not conditional-it is steadfast and unshakable. I sent my Son, Jesus, to take on the weight of your sin,  to bear the punishment you deserved. Why?  Because I love you. Not because you earned it, but because I chose you.  Before you ever reached for me, I reached for you.  This is the depth of my love-unending, sacrificial, unwavering. 

Remember this: you are loved beyond measure.” author unknown

(Oh how I wish I could acknowledge and thank the author who too sits with his God.) 

And again,  his love must have crushed his heart. 

Mondays with Jesus

 Abba: my word for 2025. It’s a signpost, a word that spurs the direction of my year’s spiritual walk. As I began studying Aramaic last fall, I occasionally bumped into the word Abba.  I love that Jesus called his Father this precious name, but honestly, I’ve felt uncomfortable when others have used it in a manner which seemed all too casual.   My Daddy? How can I call on the majestic, omnipotent, mighty God of the universe in such a fashion? Isn’t it a bit disrespectful to call Him a name so informal and familiar?  But in my digging, I’ve learned it is a title of honor and respect, not a childish expression…a name reflecting great affection, trust, intimacy, confidence and perhaps the hardest, obedience.   I knew immediately I wanted to grow in all the fore-mentioned areas this year and the name Abba would serve as a good reminder. Right up front, I’m asking myself why I’m so uncomfortable? Is it fear of such intimacy or my lack of understanding?

Yet, I have a beautiful suspicion that the more I sit with Jesus, the more I’ll bump into Abba, Father.  Hebrews 1:3 tells us Jesus is the exact imprint of his Father’s nature (ESV) so of course, I want to spend even more time hearing Jesus in the Scriptures this year.  I want to move so close to God that my heart can’t help but approach Him with deep adoration and submission. Even this morning upon arising, I heard myself whisper, I love you, Abba. It’s going to be a profound journey!

Mondays with Jesus

 The first one of 2025! I started with yesterday’s service; the message was so good, I had to hear it again. Shannon Lambert crushed it on the offertory prayer: “extravagant gifts we didn’t even know we needed.”  I spent a lot of time pondering and  thanking Him for my list is long! 

I chose “Enough” for 2024 and that guiding word proved life-sustaining and life-changing. One of the hardest years of my family’s life with another cancer diagnosis, but our  Triune God was enough. We kept running to the Father, Jesus, and the Comforter….cradled in such love was enough!  

The sweetest unexpected gift of 2024 was aloneness. I’m sure that sounds strange; who desires such? 

As a people person, I crave relationship, but God gifted me with long stretches without my people. Perhaps this was God’s plan to draw me closer to Him, proving He truly was enough. And it made my time with others much sweeter. 

Now on to 2025…a new signpost word to guide the new year. Next week I’ll unpack. 

Mondays with Jesus

 I turned back the pages to Luke this morning and sat by the manger. I’m very acquainted with home births, but the thought of bringing forth life in a filthy stall blows this nurse’s mind.  I am overwhelmed by God’s divine protection of this mother and babe. 

This verse from Mary’s song especially caught my attention this morning: He has filled the hungry with good things, but has sent the rich away empty. Luke 1:53

Oh, how hungry am I; humble me, Lord, so I can recognize all that You have done. Feed me, fill me. 

I never want to walk away empty.

Mondays with Jesus

I’ve been sitting quietly in wonder the past couple of Mondays. This morning, I’ve wondered what the Father/Son reunion was really like when Jesus ascended to Heaven. I can only imagine!

I’m still immersed in the Gospel of John. I would love to sit with him and ask when did he begin to really understand the grandeur of his Rabbi. How did it change this thunderous young man? 

I’ve begun to ask for a guiding word for 2025. I think I have one; hint: Aramaic. Do you start the year with a word? It’s been a great practice for me. In any case, I hope we begin 2025 with the Word. He’s been my faithful “Enough” for 2024 and will be beyond.